Validating hurt feelings in a relationship millionaire club dating service
Imago Therapy is a type of couples counseling that offers many tools.
Chief among them is the “couples dialogue” that allows each partner to use active listening skills to deepen connection and help each person feel understood.
And this can occur only in a context of responsibility which requires the respect for the rights and feelings of others.
Perhaps it is because we care more about our partners that we do for our customers. We feel anger and anger is a cover feeling for hurt. How do we get past the hurt feelings, the anger, at not being unconditionally accepted? We validate our partner's feelings saying to them, "I understand what your saying…how can I make this right?However, this requires you to be able to listen to your partner and really hear how your behaviors have impacted your spouse. Minimizing is a defense mechanism that is a form of denial.If someone minimizes the negative consequences of their behaviors it can help them continue to think “it wasn’t that bad.” Sometimes this helps them justify continuing their behavior.Power struggles result when people try to avoid feeling powerless by attempting to force the other person to submit in some way.If this approach is successful, it provides temporary relief of powerlessness.