Dating jokes that are clean

Posted by / 04-Dec-2016 21:21

Dating jokes that are clean

And we had a pony we rode all over the farm."“Here’s how it works,” he said. If you can’t come up with the answer, you have to give me a dollar. I’m about to get picked up for a blind date, can you call me in a half hour just in case it’s going bad? Sure enough after twenty minutes Raquel was discreetly checking her watch.At a wedding ceremony at which Father Brian Hamilton was officiating, he was seen to raise his hand in order to give the final blessing at the end of the service.Louise, the bride, totally misunderstood this gesture and surprised the vicar with a high-five. Since no one was around for miles Marie called a hospital and told the doctor "Quick Quick I need your help my boyfriend got bit by a snake on his penis" The doctor told her "Maam your gonna have to suck the venom out yourself" Marie asked "Please doctor there has to be another way to get rid of the venom" The doctor says "Sorry theres nothing we can do" So Marie goes running to her boyfriend When she gets there Jay says with pain "So what did the doctor say? Do you know how to tell if your girlfriend is geting fat? The world thinnest book has only one word written in it : EVERYTHING. If your girlfriend complains that you never take her anywhere expensive.... Boyfriend: Dear do you know that exams are like girlfriend? Boyfriend: Yes, they are tough to understand, complicated, lots of questions and the result is always doubtful.. That night, she wrote in her diary, "There comes a time when even the best of friends must part." Snake Venom One day a happy couple Jay and Marie were walking down the forest when suddenly a giant snake jumped on Jay's leg and bit his dick. One girl says "The last 3 boyfriends I've had, I've named after soda pops. " Marie says "Doctor said your gonna die" My Last 3 Boyfriends Two female co-workers are chatting it up, and they are discussing the boyfriends they've had in the last year.

(1) In a poll held in the USA, men and women were asked if they would marry the same person if they had it to do all over again.

' 'Oh, Ma,' she replied, 'the honeymoon was wonderful. 'But, Ma, as soon as we returned home Rupert started using the most ghastly language... Maybe for our fiftieth, I'll go down there and get her back.' *Geordie - is a regional nickname for a person from the Tyneside [NE] region of England, or the name of the dialect of English spoken by these people. You need a television.' What more can Will and Guy say!

Jack, a very young lad aged 4 years, says to his father, 'Daddy, Daddy, I want to get married.' His father explains, 'For that Jack, you have to have a boy and a girl.' So Jack answers, 'I've already found a girl.' 'Who? If all else fails, asking for help will get you a laugh and buy you time.

'Darling,' says Barry to his wife, Sarah, 'I invited a friend home for supper.' 'What? ' Sarah splutters, 'The house is a mess, I didn't go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't much feel like cooking a fancy meal.' 'I know all that,' murmurs Barry. Rupert and Elaine, young couple, got married and went happily on their honeymoon. When asked the secret for staying together all that time, Molly replies, 'Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids.' While enjoying a lunchtime pint in a Newcastle pub in the Scotswood Road, four elderly Geordies* were discussing everything from football, the economy, to the weather, to how things used to be in the "good old days." Eventually the conversation moved on to their wives. Willing accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hours, if I don't go out.

When they got back, Elaine immediately 'phoned her mother and her mother obviously asked, 'How was the honeymoon, dearest? One bloke turned to the guy on his right and asked, 'Eh, Alan, aren't you and your lass celebrating your fiftieth wedding anniversary soon? 'Well, are you gonna do anything special to celebrate, man? Alan pondered this for a moment, then replied, 'For our twenty-fifth anniversary, I took Hazel to Sunderland. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest.' The receptionist listens politely and carefully and responds, 'I understand.

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Husband: Why don’t you just rub toilet paper on your nipples.